


Tomorrow, Then.

by TakeItFromMe



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I am so sorry for this, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kasumi Has Schizophrenia, Mental Health Issues, This is literally just sad, there is a plot tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:02:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakeItFromMe/pseuds/TakeItFromMe
Summary: “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then! I love you, too,” Kasumi said.
Relationships: Ichigaya Arisa/Toyama Kasumi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Tomorrow, Then.

**Author's Note:**

> hi obviously i hope you read the tags but there is implied sui in this fic. there’s also a lot of talk about mental facilities in the beginning but it doesn’t go very deep into that. so yea cool thanks

**11/15**

Kasumi stared out her window from the backseat of the car. 

Other cars passed by in a blur of different shapes and colors, towards some destination Kasumi would never be able to ask of. She would soon forget the shape and color, and even the made up lives of every family she saw sitting and chatting inside of them. She rested her chin on the palm of her hand as she observed the busy highway road.

“Onee-chan, is something wrong?” 

  
She was startled out of her pondering by this question, sitting up and looking over at her younger sister. Asuka, the owner of the voice, was staring at her with an inquisitive expression. Perhaps it was even laced with worry, but Kasumi wouldn’t have been able to recognize that. She was bad with reading faces.

“Mm, no!” She grinned, cheerful as ever. Kasumi wriggled around in her seatbelt to face her. “I was just thinking, is all. About all of those people in all of those cars. They all have special lives, where they do little things and big things every day, just like we do. But nobody ever thinks about that, you know? We forget that other people do the same things we do.” She stared at Asuka intently as she spoke, clearly passionate about the topic. Asuka nodded slowly, stealing a glance towards their parents in the front seats as she did so. They seemed happy. Kasumi figured Aa-chan must be happy, too, if she wanted to talk to her. People always loved talking to Kasumi, though. She had a lot to say.

When Asuka didn’t reply, Kasumi spoke again. “I really did miss you all,” she said, looking at her parents herself now. Her mother smiled. “We missed our Kasumi. You seem to be doing better. You were honest with your final assessment, yeah?”

“Mhm! Only the buzzing in my head. It’s so annoying, but I can handle it. The doctor said it probably wouldn’t go away for a long time, even with the medications, but almost everything else has stopped! I really missed you all, but I think I’m gonna miss her and everyone else there too. They were all really nice to me.”

Kasumi’s mother hummed. “I’m glad you weren’t too lonely, dear. Asuka missed you most of all, though. She kept talking about how excited she was to see you today.”

Asuka flushed slightly, but smiled. “I still think it’s dumb that only your parents are allowed to see you.”

“We wrote letters for each other, though!”

“Mhm!”

Asuka grabbed Kasumi’s hand. Kasumi lightly squeezed it, grinning. “I can’t wait to go back to school, too! I miss my friends a lot.” Asuka winced at this, but nodded again anyway. She leaned into Kasumi, who leaned back into her. The ride home would be a while, but they were content in each other’s presence like this. In the front, the Toyamas shared a smile with each other. Their eldest daughter, Kasumi Toyama, had been hospitalized for the past three months. After this, she was still expected to attend an outpatient program in a facility much closer to home bi-weekly, but she was coming home again.

As they drove, it began to lightly rain, just enough to lull the sisters off into a light sleep for the next few hours. 

-

**11/20**

Girls piled into the room quickly, pulling out chairs around Kasumi and taking their seats. Kasumi watched them intently, attempting to take the advice of her therapist and “study” their movements to compare them to the way they were speaking. Her therapist said this was how Kasumi was supposed to discern what they meant when saying things that likely weren’t literal, or when they were actually in a different mood than how they were using their words. If a person wasn’t crying, Kasumi couldn’t tell they were sad. If a person wasn’t yelling, she couldn’t tell they were angry. Kasumi figured people should just say what they mean more often and skip the metaphors.

The room was cold and dreary. The walls were a seasick shade of grey-green, the floors were covered with an itchy grey carpeting, and the only furniture in the room was the circular tables and chairs. There weren’t even any paintings or decor on the walls. Kasumi wondered how people were supposed to feel better here when the room was so sad. Eventually, a woman walked through the door and introduced herself. Kasumi didn’t pay attention to this, rather distracted by the feeling of the carpet through her socks. She had slipped off her shoes and was rubbing the soles of her feet back and forth on the floor. “Alright, so each table should have ten people seated to it. I would like for you all to get to know each other for the first day, and then on Thursday, we will begin discussing coping skills and which are helpful and which are harmful. Feel free to introduce yourselves and why you’re here, if you feel comfortable doing so. You should find the same seating you had today when you return on Thursday.”

Kasumi perked up at this. She looked around at the people seated at her table. Most didn’t seem very interested in talking about themselves, sitting quietly and staring down. Kasumi had heard from her old friends at the facility that outpatient therapy was awful. Sitting here now, it didn’t seem awful, but it didn’t seem fun, either. She spoke up first, causing all eyes at the table to look at her. “Hi, I’m Toyama Kasumi. I’m 15, a second-year student, and I’m here because I have schizophrenia.” One girl sitting across from Kasumi seemed to scoot her chair back slightly. Kasumi didn’t notice this, but the girl sitting beside her did. She glared daggers at the girl, and the girl quickly looked away.

The sitting beside Kasumi spoke up next, seemingly motivated by Kasumi’s extroversion. “I’m Ichigaya Arisa. Second-year. I’m here because I have to be. I just got out of Waterfall Grove for trying to kill myself.”

“Isn’t that a long-term facility?” one girl asked. Arisa nodded. “Yeah, I was there for nine months.”

“Oh, I went to Starwood for three months!” Kasumi piped up. The girl who had scooted away earlier seemed even more disturbed by the prospect of being around former long-term patients. “I’m not like you at all,” she muttered. “I’m just here because I got caught running away. I was only in a facility for a week. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

Arisa scoffed. “You’re here because you have problems. So are we. You don’t have the same kinds, so what. Try putting yourself in other people’s shoes so we’ll actually  _ want _ to put ourselves in yours.”

-

**12/1**

“Arisaaaaa~! Wait up!” Kasumi yelled as she stumbled down the sidewalk, racing to get to her friend. When she got to her, she skidded to a halt, grinning wildly as she puffed. “Hi!” she said. “What are you in such a hurry for?” Arisa said. “I wanna come to your house! Pleaaaase! I wanna see the guitar in your basement again, and maybe we can hang out, too!” Arisa blushed. “Um, n-no, you can’t! Why do you think you can just invite yourself over all the time?” She huffed. Kasumi frowned and brought up her fists held together in a pleading motion. “Please, Arisa!” she cried. “Ugh,  _ fine _ , but no detours today. And you won’t be loud, either. I need to finish my homework first.” Kasumi nodded enthusiastically, and began a steady skip beside Arisa as they walked.

As it had turned out, Kasumi and Arisa lived in the same area and attended the same school. Kasumi was a new student. She had only moved here recently, and spent two months in school before her hospitalization, so she didn’t know many people. Arisa had been going to school here, but not for the past nine months. Thus, they were both pretty low on company. People avoided Kasumi like the plague, knowing from her loud oversharing that she was schizophrenic. Arisa faced some struggles as well with people knowing where she’d been, but these people had also known her prior, as opposed to Kasumi. 

When classmates made mean comments to Kasumi in the hall, Arisa would be there to call them a prick. Kasumi told Arisa that they were her friends, that it was all just messing around, but Arisa knew that people were cruel and Kasumi was naive. She insisted to Arisa that everyone was her friend. But nobody talked to Kasumi like she was normal, and Arisa hated them for it. Seeing Kasumi both at therapy and at school, Arisa took it upon herself to become her friend. They spent time at each other’s houses and talked about things bothering them that they didn’t want to say at therapy. Arisa had to admit that despite being unable to express it, she was fond of Kasumi’s cheerful company.

After Arisa had finished her homework and Kasumi had finished ogling over Arisa’s old unplayed star-shaped guitar, they sat down on the floor of Arisa’s room and talked.

“Do you ever hear sounds in the back of your head?” Kasumi asked Arisa. “No, not really. I mean, sometimes my ears ring, but that's about it. Why?” She responded.

“I have this buzzing in my head. Nothing really makes it stop. I’m mostly used to it, but sometimes it gets quieter or louder. It’s pretty loud today.” As Kasumi said this, Arisa did notice that she seemed more on edge. She fidgeted anxiously and made significantly less eye contact. Arisa supposed that a never-ending loud noise in her head would make her a little anxious sometimes, too. She nodded sympathetically. “Sorry about that. Does anything help?” She asked.

“Music does! I hum to myself or listen to my favorite songs, and sometimes it dies down or at least I don’t hear it as much. That’s the only thing that works, I think. Oh, sorry, sorry! I should ask you about yourself, too! You seemed sad today. Is something wrong?”

Arisa sighed. Sometimes simply being asked if she was alright made her feel like she could cry, and that urge was heightened by the question coming from her best friend. Kasumi was the only person who understood a portion of Arisa’s problems. She had struggled with depression just as well, and had felt the same hopelessness that never seemed to leave Arisa alone. The only thing was, Kasumi’s meds seemed to make her feel better, and Arisa’s didn’t.

“I’m okay,” Arisa said. “You don’t have to ask about me. I do just fine on my own.” 

-

**12/18**

Kasumi and Arisa sat on the grass together at the park. It was getting dark, but neither of them wanted to leave, so they didn’t. The sunset was blooming, with streaks of pink, purple, and orange streaking across the sky. Kasumi was taking it in as much as she could. Something about this evening felt different, more alive. She turned and watched Arisa mindlessly twirl one of her pigtails. Kasumi was struck by an impulse. “Hey,” she said suddenly, quieter than usual. Arisa jumped slightly as she looked back at her. “What’s up?” she said.

“Do you ever think about kissing?” Kasumi asked. Arisa’s face flushed, and she dropped eye contact with Kasumi. “W-What?” she stammered. “I don’t know,” Kasumi said, thinking of where she actually intended on going with this. Well, where she wanted to go versus where she could. “I do, sometimes. I never really thought of my type, though, until recently. Because I didn’t think I was ready to date. My mom always said that Aa-chan was way more mature than me for me to be the older one.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But, um… When I think about kissing people, I think about you, usually.”

“ _ Huh? _ ” Arisa nearly yelled, sitting upright. “Kasumi, have you been taking your meds?”

“Mhm! Aa-chan helps me remember to take them!”   
  
Arisa said nothing. Kasumi noticed that she was slightly shaking. “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?” she asked. Arisa shook her head quickly. “N-No, I just.. Didn’t expect you to say that. You can’t just say that!” she said.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“I was being honest, though.”

“I mean… Sometimes I think about it too, I guess.”

“So I can kiss you, then?” 

“Jeez, Kasumi, you can’t just say it like that!”

Arisa grabbed Kasumi’s hand and interlaced their fingers. She quickly leaned forward, pressing her lips against the brown haired girl’s. Kasumi was startled, but leaned in, too. After a moment, they pulled apart. Arisa didn’t make eye contact. “That was nice,” Kasumi said, quieter than ever. Her face felt hot, and she thought she might be trembling, too. “Yeah,” Arisa agreed. “It is getting late. We should be getting home. You, um, you can come over to my house if you want to.”

“Only if you’ll kiss me again,” Kasumi grinned.

-

**12/24**

Kasumi sat at her desk, humming quietly to herself as she neatly wrapped a bracelet for her sister. Christmas was always her favorite time of the year. She had already wrapped all of her gifts for Arisa and put them to the side, and was now wrapping the ones intended for her family. She giggled in excitement just thinking about tomorrow. In the early afternoon, she and her family would exchange gifts and eat lunch together. After that, she would visit her girlfriend and give her all of the presents Kasumi had been buying her in secret for this day since they started dating.  _ Her girlfriend.  _ Kasumi giggled again. It still felt unreal to her, that Arisa was actually her girlfriend. When she finished wrapping her final gift, Kasumi sat back in her chair.

Just as she began relaxing, Kasumi’s phone rang. Seeing Arisa’s name across her screen made her smile, and she picked up on the first ring. “Hi, Arisa!”

“Hi,” Arisa replied. She sounded tired. “I, um, just wanted to hear your voice,” she admitted. “What did you do today?”

“Wrapped a bunch of gifts and wrote a song idea for you to play on your keyboard!” Kasumi said, looking over at Arisa’s pile of gifts as she spoke. “I have your gifts ready, too. I really really hope you’ll like them! I’m gonna bring them to you tomorrow.”

Arisa paused for a long moment. “Um, yeah. I have yours too. Not that it’s anything special.” 

“I’d love anything if it’s from you!” Kasumi put Arisa on speaker and stood up to stretch. She picked up her pajamas off the floor and began changing into them. Arisa said nothing, but the silence didn’t feel awkward to Kasumi. She simply enjoyed being around her in any way, even if they weren’t talking. “I’m sorry,” Arisa said suddenly, just as Kasumi finished re-dressing. “Why are you sorry?” she asked. “Is something wrong? You can talk to me, you know.”

“Sorry, I’m just tired.” Kasumi took her phone to her bed and sat down with it. “I think I might go to bed, actually. I’m sorry. For doing this to you, I mean. I love you, Kasumi.”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then! I love you, too,” Kasumi said. Arisa hung up, and Kasumi set her phone on her nightstand. She turned off her lights and crawled under the covers. Kasumi fell asleep quickly, tired from gift wrapping and making other preparations.

-

**12/25**

Christmas morning was as festive as always. Kasumi and Asuka got into a small banter that was easily ended by the commencing of gift sharing, and Kasumi enjoyed having a late lunch with her family afterwards. She hadn’t spoken to Arisa since they called, and she was excited to see her again today.

When Kasumi finally managed to get away from everyone else, she put all of her gifts into one large tote bag and left with it slung over her shoulder. She knew the path to Arisa’s home by heart, and often boasted that she could probably make it there with her eyes closed by now. She did actually try once, and only made one wrong turn, so there was that. 

Aside from that one trippy fork, Kasumi did know the path quite well, especially with Arisa’s placement of star stickers along the trail. 

Kasumi made it there and excitedly knocked on the door. Unsurprisingly, she was greeted by Arisa’s grandmother. However, the woman didn’t smile when she saw Kasumi. “Hi, Ichigaya-san. Where’s Arisa?” Kasumi asked. She presented her bag of gifts to her. “I brought her some things, and I have something for you, too!”

“Come inside, dear,” the woman said.

-

**1/25**

Kasumi stepped through the grass of the empty cemetery. The sun was setting, reminiscent of her favorite day, but lacking in the purple that made the sky most captivating. It wasn’t as pretty as it had been before. It hadn’t been in a while.

When Kasumi found the place she was looking for, she sat down in front of it, pulling the red star guitar off her shoulder and setting it on her lap. “I’m sorry I haven’t stopped by lately,” she said, looking up at the sky. “I wrote another song for you, though.” She strummed the guitar and sang softly, words barely reaching above a whisper. Without an amp for her guitar, the chords were just as quiet as her tone, but that was alright. The sound was meant for them to share alone.

The buzz in the back of Kasumi’s head never stopped. Sometimes it was quieter or louder, but it was always there. She could hear it now, even over the sound of her own voice. But for once, it didn’t bother her too much. 

When she stopped playing, Kasumi sat in silence for a few minutes. She observed the grave in front of her. The flowers, plastic, were faded and dirty. She picked them up. “I meant to bring more today, but I forgot,” she sighed. “I’ll bring some for you tomorrow, then,” she said as she stood up, shouldering her guitar and dusting off her skirt.

Tomorrow, then.


End file.
